One Day… and Counting

Just a place to record the life and times of me!

I am heartbroken….

Today was the day….we said goodbye to our fur baby….

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We love you Honey de dog…. You truly were, are, and forever will be the sweetest dog ever. Rest easy girl….

One day and counting….the tears falling down my cheeks.

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Grateful for another day…

I have anxiety…. Medical anxiety to be exact. I worry incessantly about getting some horrible disease and dying. I am getting to the age where people I know and love are getting sick and not recovering….moving on to the next life. I’m not going to debate religion with anyone. I have my own views that are centered on the existence of a Heavenly Father, His Son, Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost…I also believe that there is a much better life after this one….and  still, I worry about my health to the point that I actually do make myself sick. Every tiny pain I feel morphs into some incurable disease that will end my life before I am “ready” to go. Is anybody ever really ready??? I can’t answer that. I just know that I need to get my situation figured out because I really don’t want to quit living my life, whatever time I have left, because I am afraid of dying.

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I took this picture when I was struggling to leave the comfort of my bed this morning. I love sleep…it truly is the only time I feel peace…anyways…my first thought this morning was “Welcome to another day. Find happiness and make it a good one.” So that is what I have tried to do. The anxiety still creeps in and I still have had my bouts of fighting worry, but I keep plodding away. I think this is going to be a long haul but I am hopeful that I will get it sorted long before I finished with this life.

By the way…we have made the “tough” decision concerning our sweet dog.

One day and counting… The moments I actually find peace.

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Small thing…BIG memory!

I am in the process of remodeling a spare bedroom to be a more functional space. My goal is to have a working craft room that can quickly be shuffled into a bedroom when guests arrive. As I was painting today, I looked down and saw this….

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If you look in the middle area of the picture, you will see a small yellow pellet. This pellet is a remnant from one of the best evenings I have ever spent with my two kids. With out going into all the details let’s just leave it at….we had the biggest air soft gun war ever! We laughed, screamed, locked the doors, barricaded the house and even broke a window. That wonderful evening happened a long time ago….but every once in a while I come across one of these little yellow pieces of plastic and I am taken right back to that night. Memories are a powerful thing and I am so grateful that I have this one…

One day and counting…. Great memories with my kids!

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A day in my life….Honey de dog…

One thing I thought I might try this year is to document my life through pictures. I have a couple of friends who did this last year and shared their pictures on Facebook. It was fun to see how they approached taking pictures to meet daily prompts… I even tried it for a few days but lost interest, though I am not sure why. It really is pretty cool. 
There are so many pictures I could start with as I am still deeply involved in the whole “goal to live simply” thing…  And I am knee-deep in the process of remodeling my house so the attempt will be made to share that experience as well… Every day is committed to address one of those two areas of my life in some way, no matter how small and I am sure there will be lots of pictures to that end, (you should see my new bathroom!!!) but for today, I want to share a picture of our dog Honey.

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Honey was diagnosed with cancer almost two years ago and I fear that her days with our family are dwindling. She is a sweet, gentle friend that has brought much joy to our home. She is not a “complainer” but we are starting to notice just how weary she is when we look into her eyes. I struggle with the fact that we are probably facing a really tough decision in the very near future and really, we just want to do right by this pup. Honey spends most of her time sleeping in the spare room, but every so often, she musters up the strength and energy to come check in with her favorite human, my husband. They have such a strong bond and this reality has been particularly difficult for him. A few strokes on the head and some ear rubs are enough to convey the love that she needs to give, and to feel. She sighs deeply and wanders off to go back to sleep. I will miss her….

One day and counting….until the day we will have to say goodbye.

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