I have anxiety…. Medical anxiety to be exact. I worry incessantly about getting some horrible disease and dying. I am getting to the age where people I know and love are getting sick and not recovering….moving on to the next life. I’m not going to debate religion with anyone. I have my own views that are centered on the existence of a Heavenly Father, His Son, Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost…I also believe that there is a much better life after this one….and still, I worry about my health to the point that I actually do make myself sick. Every tiny pain I feel morphs into some incurable disease that will end my life before I am “ready” to go. Is anybody ever really ready??? I can’t answer that. I just know that I need to get my situation figured out because I really don’t want to quit living my life, whatever time I have left, because I am afraid of dying.
I took this picture when I was struggling to leave the comfort of my bed this morning. I love sleep…it truly is the only time I feel peace…anyways…my first thought this morning was “Welcome to another day. Find happiness and make it a good one.” So that is what I have tried to do. The anxiety still creeps in and I still have had my bouts of fighting worry, but I keep plodding away. I think this is going to be a long haul but I am hopeful that I will get it sorted long before I finished with this life.
By the way…we have made the “tough” decision concerning our sweet dog.
One day and counting… The moments I actually find peace.